eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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