but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
