I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
