idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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