Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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