I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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