I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The beers last night were like the tears from god
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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