OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
