problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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