I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
