1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
actually, I'm a sock model
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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