My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
