Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I understand Curling. That high.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
