some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
True strength comes from lack of pants
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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