i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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