I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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