Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
