im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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