he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
