Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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