i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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