Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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