I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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