Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
