Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Will exercising make me less horny?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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