i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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