Dual....:-)
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
