That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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