i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
