Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I wish there were birth control emojis
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
