you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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