You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
