Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
