Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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