We're facebook friends in real life
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
