he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I see more hoeing in ur future
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
