My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
