Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I supernannyed him into submission
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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