They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Ketchup is God's man juice
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
