Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
