and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
