You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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