can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
