I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
