Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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