Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
