what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
