this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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