they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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