She is in my trunk
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
