47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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