Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
