I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
