i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
