the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
